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Pyne denies excrement accusations

After more than two weeks of persistent speculation, federal minister Christopher Pyne has finally responded to allegations that he had disposed of excrement from his labrador, Moses, in a yellow recycling bin.

Glenelg North resident, Barry Prince, had earlier claimed on social media that he had seen Pyne placing a plastic bag inside his recycling bin which had been placed for collection on the nature strip. On later inspection, the bag turned out to contain dog poop.

"What sort of a dickhead puts dog shit in a recycling bin... on a hot day... after collection," Prince said. "It's not the first time. I'm setting up a spy-cam so I can catch the dirty bastard at it."

Mr Pyne has denied the allegations, saying that Moses was a very nervous shitter and had a special spot near the back fence where he liked to defecate. Pyne ruled out allowing a DNA test for Moses to finally put the business to rest.

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