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Beatriz threatens the isthmus

Residents of eastern Mexico are bracing this evening as category 9 tropical storm Beatriz bears down on the vulnerable isthmus.

Producers of rambutans and bananas in far North Queensland are unapologetically hopeful that the storm will wipe out competing crops in the Mexican food-bowl, which could result in fruit shortages and on-market price hikes.

Spokesman for the RamBanana Federation, Dr Luke Jamieson spoke to the Plain Dealer this afternoon. "All that we can hope for is that Beatriz does for us what Larry did for them," explained Dr Jamieson. "It's just swings and roundabouts. We've had to bite the bark lately, and it's about time those fuckers in Oaxaca taste some playground mulch."

Acting Prime Minister Peter Beattie has announced that the nation will provide "any and all support, rescue, and banana reselling services requested by Mexico."

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