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Restauranteur responds to accusations of shit service

Having to rely on an itinerant workforce of dubious talent, and questionable hygiene, Cairns restaurants have earned the unwelcome reputation amongst locals of "good food, shit service."

Instead of being offended by this norm, restauranteur, Lucinda Ng (above), has developed the idea that she can provide both shit food and shit service. Her new café on Shields Street, Thức ăn Trông Giống Phân, serves Vietnamese street food that, as much as is possible within the bounds of the culinary genre, resembles a dog turd on a plate.

"We use a lot of tumeric and curry powder," explained Mrs Ng. "It helps to bring out the yellowness you often see with Nutragold-fed animals. Presentation is everything. We like to adorn the plate with random smudges of what we call so as to tease and tempt the palate."

The new strategy has been a hit among young, hip Cairns professionals.

"Me and my mates just love to go to Thức. It's the cool place to be," said Ben Fordham, a 27 year old Real Estate Consultant from Manoora. "We'll often drop in after work to grab a gob-full of PhânPhân and wash it down with a bit of Saigon Special. Mmmm."

Thức ăn Trông, which is part-owned by Jordan Silk, is open nightly from 5pm until late. Reservations are essential. BYO Wine only.

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