Adiós y buena suerte, señor Skip!
A Brickhouse spokesman today confirmed the worst kept secret in the country, that Sir Geoff "Skippy" Huegill has been appointed as North Queensland's ambassador to Mexico, taking over from the Honorable Wendell Sailor.
Following some Spanish and mariachi lessons, Sir Skippy will be taking residence at the embassy in Colonia Polanco from the first of next month. Mr Sailor will undergo intensive debriefing in Townsville, before taking up a position at Fox sports.
Huegill is a gifted diplomat, with his efforts at previous postings in Oman and North Korea being considered highly successful. This latest assignment will present more of a challenge given current tensions between Mexico and North Queensland over trade and perceived espionage activities by lubricano operatives.
And this is to say nothing of the controversies that have arisen from the unorthodox diplomatic techniques displayed by his predecessor. Sailor's alleged shambolic management of the embassy building has resulted in it becoming, according to one unnamed embassy official, "a flophouse for cartel jockeys, rugby-molls and washed-up backrowers."
At an embassy party on North Queensland day this year, Sailor reportedly kick-danced atop the main table before inconveniencing the First Daughter, Angélica Sofía Castro, by accidentally booting her in the head. Subsequently, in his speech, he gave a long, often ribald, monolog about his St George years and then offered to supply the First Lady, Angélica Rivera, an unspecified amount of cocaine.
At the time, the Prime Minister, Val Shier, refused to comment on the cocaine allegations other than to say that "coke to Mexico sounds like rather sending Joey Johns to Newcastle."
Huegill's first task will be to sooth the inevitable ill-will arising from the Banana war of 2015 and to mend bridges torn down by Cyclone Beatriz.