This Time Next Year: Karl's my baby daddy!
Hairdresser, Jessecah Stafford, 29, of Holloways Beach (above) has appeared on the popular Nine network program, This Time Next Year but, due to a mysterious decision by the show's producers, her segment will perhaps never go to air.
Ms Stafford reportedly filmed the 'before' component of her story at Nine's studios in Willoughby in July. She has since revealed the secrets behind the reality television juggernaut, and how her chance at celebrity has been dashed, at least for the moment.
"I told the producers that I would be losing a shit-load of weight so that I could get married to my blind, transgender Muslim girlfriend this time next year," Ms Stafford said in an exclusive interview with the Plain Dealer. "Karl was very sympathetic initially - he liked the hijabi angle."
But as the cameras were rolling, and in front of a studio audience that included her mother Valerih and sister Kharen, Jessecah made a surprise pledge. She announced that, this time next year, she would be pregnant with Karl Stefanovic's love-child.
"All that weight-loss stuff was just bullshit to get me past the screeners and onto the show," explained Jessecah. "Look at me; I don't have to lose any pounds - I've never looked hotter. Unfortunately, Karl doesn't appear to share my dream of parenthood. At least not yet. He'll come around for sure."
According to Ms Stafford, Mr Stefanovic had to urgently leave the set to change his suit. Meanwhile, she was allegedly whisked away by two burly, but hunky, security guards and asked to leave the studio. Channel Nine executives have refused to take her calls or offer any kind of explanation for her treatment.
"You just don't realise the power that these reality TV gurus have," said Ms Stafford, wiping away a tear. "They're like Gods, slicing peoples' dreams of stardom and riches into shreds, and making Karl block me on Twitter. Bastards."
Jessecah's apparent rejection by the titans of television won't stop the feisty young woman from trying to achieve her goals. "My friends have started a GoFundMe campaign for a Mel Doyle makeover and if I have to go the Boris Becker option I'll do it," she said. "I've totally got my gag reflex under control, and I know all of Karl's favourite restaurants."
This Time Next Year airs on Monday nights on Channel Nine, after The Block.