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Mexican dick-swinger to appear in Twister-B Invitational



Management at Gilligans Spa and Resort has announced a celebrity guest contestant for it's Twister-B tournament later this month.

Mexican man, Roberto Esquivel, will be competing in the prestigious Rotary Twister-B Invitational, and will join a cavalcade of stars. Esquivel, 54, of Saltillo, Coahuila in Mexico, holds the world record for longest human penis (x-ray images above). Twister-B insiders are buzzing about the strategic advantages that might accrue from the use of a 48 cm* member.

Quarterback for the current FNQ Invitational Quad champion team, Kane Soorley, doesn't rate the chances of the Mexican interloper

"Look, the size doesn't matter," Soorley claimed, speaking from his dojo in Manoora. "It's what you do with it that counts. Long and thin doesn't win. Short and thick does the trick. And that Mexican fucker is going to have serious balance issues on a right foot on green-4 to left hand on yellow-7 combination. His donger won't help him then, will it?"

Commissar at Gilligans, Captain Alan Hale Jr, is expecting a massive turn-out for the event. "The Gillgarena is bound to be packed," he exclaimed loudly. "We're expecting a female contingent from Islamic State and the Yemenis will be back. Exciting times!"

Tickets are available at the door or at www.twisterinthebuff.com.au. Photography not permitted.

*: When angry

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