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April Classifieds


Wanted: Taipan catcher wanted for sunflower de-snaking. Prefer single man, tall and fit. No bogans. @shelly_freshwater.

Wanted: Experienced cricket player wanted to play the understudy for non-speaking role of opening batsman at dance production. Must have a big nose. @finlayson

Personal Services

Hairdresser (lately of MKR) doing great styles at TB. Don't believe what Manu says, I'm a great cook and a fantastic stylist. @volcano_dd

From me to you

To the jokers who have bought the cane fields outside Macalister's brewery. Don't fuck up the view! @tradieluvsbrewz

Looking for Love

Japanese lady new in town, looking for gentlemen to take me up the range and down the gorge. Smooth back please. Send photo and financials to @Kiko_dcup

For Sale

Coral Sands Unit for sale. Prefer silent bidding atheist with no spiritual or juju-style tendencies. Cheap. tom@publictrustee.qld.gov.au.

For sale: locked and slightly sandy second-hand mobile phone for sale. Might be an iPhone 8 or possibly a 10. Some pre-entered contacts and photos included. No charger. $50 ono @metalDetectorKing


Hot ticket from BetTolga: Good odds on Chairman Kim giving up the nukes. Put a pineapple on JT playing InTrust Cup for the Blackhawks. Exotics: Ricki Lee to get engaged to Ricky Ponting by 2020, Shane Warne to have nude backstroke match race with Shane Gould. Gamble Responsibly.


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