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Boney Corporation acquires Plain Dealer

Multinational media behemoth, Boney Corporation, has acquired the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer for an undisclosed sum. As a result, the Plain Dealer joins a venerable group of publications in the Boney stable, including the Sydney Morning Herald, L'Equipe and the Innisfail Sentinel.

Editor in chief, Murray Murchison was enthusiastic about the development and was clearly excited about the future of what he calls "the littlest periodical."

"We expect everything to be business as usual in the newsroom," he said from the TBPD's offices on Vasey Esplanade. "We'll focus on the issues that affect the people; namely crocodiles, Mexico and the creeping rise of jihadism. Obviously we will have to tilt the editorial focus a little towards Meghan Markle and Karl Stefanovic. And put more rhymes in the headlines. Nothing we wouldn't have done anyway."

Murchison went on to say that there would be a staff shake-up with popular reporter Shirley Higgins-Croft tasked with covering the royal feud between Markle and Britain.

Princess Markle was very pregnant and unavailable for comment.

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