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Intelligent speed bumps to be trialled



Cairns Regional Council have announced a trial of intelligent retractable speed-bumps in the CBD as a means of slowing down traffic and reducing the horrendous accident rate.

The Mexican Colina Furtiva (CF) technology (above) allows the speed-bump to lie flat or be raised in up to three configurations, mullida, irritante and presidencial. Movement may be initiated based on inbound vehicle speed or by remote control. It is understood that registration plate identification, or driver facial recognition may also be used as a trigger for deployment.

Mayor Bob Manning has pledged that the new infra-infrastructure would be "fully funded by industry and the Japanese Government". He also said that there was a policy for allowing a CF Gold Pass for some eligible citizens.

General Manager of Cairns Spring Works on Redden Street at Portsmouth, Trevor McClatchan, is enthusiastic about the CF technology. "This kind of shit absolutely has a role in road safety. And it's tops for the economy," Mr McClatchan explained. "We'd be stoked to be able to sponsor some of those bad boys, provided we get branding rights and can position a couple of them along Redden Street."

Mr McClatchan went on to say that he planned to set up a spotter at Mastercut's and set a CF Hump to presidential mode whenever an Amarok roars past. "Dodgy German suspension is one thing but, for fuck's sake, let's change the way we look at speed," he said.

The council will vote on the initiative and take submissions from interested parties at a special meeting on Wednesday. All rate-payers are welcome. For those interested in the CF Gold Pass, bring three passport photos.

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